The thing about the internet

spiritguide:

is that there are hordes and hordes and hordes of pictures of beautiful people. Beautiful people having sex, working out, touching, pierced, hoping, modeling, doing nothing, posing, smiling, frowning, hurting, tattooed, contorted, suspended, standing, sitting, laying down, crying, loving, being. Naked, clothed, styled specifically for photos, styled specifically for public in case there are photos. And they’re gorgeous. Sometimes I don’t know how it’s possible that there are so fucking many blindingly beautiful human beings on the planet.

And sometimes it makes me feel shockingly inadequate. Which is weird, because I love who I am. I love my life, I love my face, I love my tattoos and my piercings and my body and sometimes I feel like there are other things I’ll never be or I’ll never have. And on a daily basis, that’s okay. Like, I understand the impracticality of shaving part of my head or of getting cheek piercings or of putting my boobies on the internet. But I want to do those things anyway. I don’t want to feel like there are things I can’t have. I don’t want to feel like there are things I can’t be. It’s jealousy and it’s unbecoming but it’s there.

And then I remember that subjectivism exists. And these people that are so beautiful are only beautiful because I perceive them as beautiful. Maybe you perceive them as beautiful too, but maybe you don’t. Maybe you only like them because they remind you of something else. Or someone else. Maybe you only like a part of them, not the whole thing. Maybe you just like the color of some girl’s hair or maybe you only like a finger tattoo some guy has. Maybe something I like isn’t something you like. Maybe it’s the other way around. It’s just about how I perceive something and how you perceive something and sometimes there’s a disparity.

What I’m trying to say is that I know I’m great, but sometimes I get jealous of other people being great. Then I remember that it doesn’t matter and I’m great still. And you’re great. And everyone’s great. And we can all be great differently, and other people can perceive us all differently.

And I hope you go to bed tonight happy.

Sometimes people say what you feel better then you ever could. Thanks, Rhonda. 

P.S. You’re beautiful.